words with real bishes : irma

                                                                             
Welcome to the latest install of Words with Real Bishes. I created this as a response to the current state of issues around race and gender in America, particularly for women of color. Since we don't control the media, what I do read or see is often filtered through a white gaze. I want us to speak for ourselves, to be our own media. Like Jodeci said, come and talk to me! 

Today I welcome my dear friend Irma. My nickname for her is Queen Irma because she is. We grew up together in Berkeley. I've always been impressed by her resilience, genuine kindness, and enduring charm. She also has the coolest laugh.

MsLisa:  Tell me how we met?

Queen: Girl, we met in 9th grade at what was West Campus back in the day. It's part of the Berkeley Adult School now.

MsLisa: What do you remember about us in 9th grade?

Queen: Well, we were teenagers trying to navigate life and figure things out through music and observing the people around us. You were the creative and artistic one. Between Celine and U, we were trying to find our voices, too.  We did bond over James Dean. He was our dead man crush (laughs).

Mslisa:  Who were La Blue Eyes and Geronimo?

queen: La Blue Eyes and Geronimo! (laughs) Geronimo was Matteo - I definitely remember him. He was so fine!  La Blue Eyes was this dude Aaron you had a crush on. We used code names in the notes we'd pass to each other in class. Nerd girls! (laughs).

MsLisa: When we went to Berkeley High for 10th grade, we didn't see each other as much. What do you think happened?

Queen: I believe our worlds opened up more once we went to 10th grade. West Campus was small. At Berkeley High we didn't have the same classes or hang out with the same people. It's a big school.

MsLisa:  How do you define Berkeley Black?

Queen: A Berkeley Black person who is not necessarily defined by being black. We're different culturally than say folks in Detroit or Atlanta, even Oakland. We grew up in a very diverse city exposed to all sorts of things.  Sure, I was a young black girl in Berkeley, but I loved going to the James Dean festival or to see Dance Craze at the UC Theater.

Mslisa: Berkeley High was the first public high school in the country to have an African American Studies curriculum. Did you take that class?

Queen: Nope. I didn't take that class or Swahili (which Berkeley High still offers as a language elective - hella cool!), but we had a lot of other options.

Mslisa: Back then you loved Adam and the Ants and David Bowie. What about their music appealed to you?

Queen: Well, the 80s was a very androgynous era. Adam fit the bill. He wasn't gender-specific. I loved the double drummers of the band and their lyrics had no connection to anything really. David Bowie too - the androgynous thing.  His voice is like a meditation to me. His lyrics are interesting and very symbolic.

MsLisa: What's your favorite Bowie album?

Queen: Bow Live. I think it came out around 1977.

MsLisa: After high school where did life take you?

Queen: I went straight to UC Berkeley for summer school. At the time it was just me and my mom. She wasn't in good health and I was also taking care of her.

MsLisa: Did you graduate from UC berkeley?

Queen: No. I had to drop out. My mother stopped working so the household responsibilities fell to me. Someone had to pay the bills. (sighs)

MsLisa: Do you resent that that happened?

Queen: Yeah, a little.

MsLisa: So, at a young age you had to go to work. Did you settle down with anyone during that time?

Queen: Yes, I've always been a serial monogamist. I was with Prentiss for for 15 years and we had two beautiful children. I met him at Berkeley High. Prentiss passed away in 2003.

MsLisa: Tell me about your kids?

Queen:  My kids are awesome! They're cute and really fascinating people. They helped me learn more about myself as a person and as a parent. They helped me develop my own belief system.  I feel like i have a degree in psychology now. (laughs)

MsLisa: What are your kids doing now?

Queen: My daughter just finished her first year at UC Merced. We lost PJ in a car accident about 5 years ago. I was actually closer to PJ when I think about it. He was an optimistic and lively kid. People just adored him! I think a lot of people appreciated that he was so genuine and caring. As he got older I had abandoned the whole traditional church thing, but PJ went to church every Sunday.

MsLisa: What church did he go to?

Queen : Progressive Baptist Church in Berkeley. After he lost his dad, I believe, he abandoned religion.

MsLisa: How did you cope with losing a partner and a child?

Queen: Girl, one breath at a time. Lots of therapy and lots of crying.

MsLisa: Did you have a good support system around you through all that? 

Queen : I have an incredible support system and a lot of love. It could be a hug from someone or a text message. I appreciate all of that very much. 

MsLisa : Tell me about the day of the accident?

Queen: It was around 1:00pm. I called PJ and I asked him if he had taken the cat to the vet. He said, ' Yeah, I took the cat to the vet. I'm driving with Kyle right now.' I heard Kyle say ' Hi ' in the background. The accident happened about 20 minutes after that call. It's interesting to me that he had posted a thing on Facebook the day before that said 

' Tomorrow is going to be short.' 

MsLisa : How did you find out about the accident?

Queen: I had come home from the store. I noticed there was a police car across the street. This cop approached me and asked me if we could go inside to talk. I said, ' You're making me nervous. Are the boys okay? '  Then he asked me, '...Is someone here with you? '

Then finally he told me what happened. They identified PJ by my name, which was tattooed on his left arm and Amri's name was tattooed on his right arm. He had his phone with him, his ID, and his uncle's watch. I still have the watch in a plastic bag. It reminds me of how Yoko Ono held on to John's blood-stained eyeglasses. I had been keeping a journal for PJ since he was a baby and he'll never read it. We had plans and everything - all of that was cut short. He never even finished the Harry Potter series, which he absolutely loved.

MsLisa : Do you feel he's still with you?

Queen: No. He's in my heart and Amri's for sure. He was my kid. Do I feel like he passed to another realm and he's watching over us? No. 

MsLisa: What has sustained you since that happened?

Queen: My daughter Amri.  I certainly wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. I still have moments where I just fall apart. I can't listen to Forever Young by Alicia Keys. I can't hear Drake because he loved Drake. He never had the chance to go see him in concert. Everything....is just a matter of trying to hold it together. I have to be there for my daughter and try make it to that next breath.

MsLisa: When you think about the future for yourself what do you see?

Queen : Well, I plan to retire to Puerto Rico and definitely see Egypt. Paris! Especially because of Josephine Baker and James Baldwin. I want to see where they lived. I want to be hanging out with my man, whoever that may be (laughs ).  When I go, I want to go out with a smile.

MsLisa: You mentioned Egypt. In all the years I've known you, you've always worn an ankh, like your ring. What does that mean to you?

(c) Ankh by Jack Wan
deviantart

Queen : The ankh is a symbol of life and it pre-dates the cross. Prentiss bought me one about 20 years ago before he died. When I designed the headstone for me and Prentiss, I had an ankh added to it and an 8 ball for him. He used to show me how to play pool when I was really, really pregnant with PJ.

MsLisa: Did that headstone go to PJ?

Queen: Yeah, it was supposed to be for us; my mom had a plot at the cemetery for years. Prentiss and I had been together for a long time; going through all these ups and downs. So I planned a headstone with our symbols - the ankh and the 8 ball. I've told Amri that when I go, now I just want to be cremated.

MsLisa: So you don't want the ankh used in your passing?

Queen: Not if I'm reduced to ashes, no. I just want to go to Egypt and experience that. That would be enough for me at this point. I'm not tethered to an object.

MsLisa: In your professional life, what did you end up doing?

Queen : I fell into a 9 - 5  working at a local credit union, first as a receptionist.  My skills evolved into finance and collections.  When the credit union went through a merger, I ended up at the phone company. It was Pacific Bell back then. I didn't want any managerial responsibilities at first, but after about a year I took a management position.

Mslisa: What department did you work in?

Queen : I was a call center manager for the accessibility resources department. This was a call relay center for disabled customers - like TTY machines and transcription. We helped people with their bill and services. I managed a team of 15 - 18 people. I did that for about 9 and a half years.

MsLisa : Are you still in the same position?

Queen : No. I work in sales operations now. I liked both positions, but I enjoy working behind the scenes. It was an opportunity I couldn't pass up, so I applied for it.

MsLisa: What is your vision of Egypt?

Queen :  I've got to get to the Temple of Hatsheput. She was maybe 16 or 17 and she became a pharaoh. She was a bad ass! She was killed by an asp. She had a baby, I think by her priest and mentor. There's a small statue made of onyx at a museum in Cairo of a priest holding a child.

MsLisa : What draws you to Egyptian history and philosophy?

Queen : They were a dynamic and creative civilization. They honored their dead and made beautiful art.  The hieroglyphics told their stories and legends. I love all the natural stone and the fact that they were able to create such beautiful art and objects using rudimentary materials. It's amazing to me! They're a mystery and I think Egyptian culture is a wonder of the world.

MsLisa: Have you ever read The Book of the Dead? 

Queen: I haven't. I mean, if I had gone into archaeology I would certainly know more. I dig into things here and there; articles and sometimes fiction based on the Egyptians. It's fascinating to me.

MsLisa : Did you see the King Tut exhibition when we were kids?

Queen : Yes!I think it was at the de Young Museum. It was amazing! There was one statue of a queen called Ethiopia Awakening. I went up to her and whispered 'Hello'.  She's a bronze sculpture made by Meta Vaux Warrick Fuller around 1914. Fuller was a black renaissance artist who went to Paris to study under Auguste Rodin. 

When I was in DC, I went to the Smithsonian because I had to see the African-American section and there she was again. The queen! She was standing alone in a corner in a room. I was in the gallery by myself at the time. That was maybe 8 years after seeing the King Tut exhibit. I love that sculpture, I think, because she represents black women in America.

MsLisa: Thank you so much for talking to me. I love you, girl!

Queen: I love you too!

                                                                   

Ethiopia Awakening
Meta Vaux Warrick Fuller, African-American
(1914) 

words with real bishes : honeychild

welcome to the current install of words with real bishes! are you a beauty of color with a fierce mind and creative spirit? are you doing things big or small? go-getter? jet-setter? artist? avec les enfants ou sans? please email me here and let's chat. unleash yourself! 

today it is with great joy i introduce honeychild coleman aka DJ suga-free, an avant-garde musician and artist. we go way back to the poppin and rockin punk days of 1980s NYC. we were comrades and sisters. at shows we'd play a game called count the black girls.

mslisa: to begin, let's reminisce a bit and tell me how we met?

honeychild: we met in 1987.  we were both working at pearl paint on canal street (that's gone now). we were the two quirky and punky women of color there. i feel like i ran into you at a party, then we connected at work. it might have been at one of those clubs - the tunnel or the world maybe?

mslisa: the world and the tunnel! (laughs). oh yeah, all the beautiful freaks. what have you been up to these days?

honeychild: right now i've been on an artistic hiatus since i last went on tour. i'm working on a new solo record with a new producer. the music is somewhere between dance and post punk. i'm also working on a 7" with criterion thornton (brooklyn beats records). i play guitar and bass. it's kind of a noise punk project. i collaborated with DJ olive on THWIS, too.

mslisa: do you have a name for the band?

honeychild: no, we don't have a name yet. we're just experimenting at the moment. one of my longest collaborators is raz. we did the bedouin soundclash together. i'm the cultural mentor of the underground producers alliance. i'm doing an interactive tour of pre-2000 underground NYC.  i did about 20 sketches of old LES bars and clubs from back in the day. i also did one of the old condemned school on rivington that was hotel amazon. the whole idea is to preserve that time and place.

mslisa: i remember that shooting at hotel amazon one night!

honeychild: right? the lower east side was hardcore back then.

mslisa:  what else are you working on?

honeychild: i have a bunch of videos in the can and i'm learning how to edit. ramsey jones from funk face  and the rza, plays drums in my post punk band bachslider.

mslisa: tell me about the authentic black weirdo?

honeychild: so, here's something that came up a bit in afropunk. there's two kinds of alternative black people in my opinion.  i came to NY knowing i would find others like me and i'd be less lonely. i'm here and i'm black but i'm not here to be black; i just am. the other is showing out their weirdo blackness as a kind of fashion. you and i are the former, i think particularly of our generation. that's what attracted us to new york. we'd watch diana ross in mahogany together, eat fried chicken from the corner, then go to a punk show. we knew who we were.

now it's different with the advent of the blipster. there's more weird young black folks, but i'm not in any particular clique. we're from a different time. who knew there was black heavy metal in kansas? in the 1980s and 90s that was unreal.

mslisa: so true! do you feel that we often had to explain ourselves coming up?

honeychild: oh yeah. my family in kentucky are very conservative so i had to explain a lot of my choices and personal style. we weren't following tradition or conformity. we're at the age of our co-workers parents at this point. they can see the rift, but they can't really put it together. girl, we've been black weirdos a long time!

mslisa: who influenced you in your weirdness as a young girl?

honeychild: well, my aunts were like mod supremes with the beehives, skirts, and boots. i loved that. i grew up reading essence, and always saw lot of brown skinned models. i had an uncle who was an artist. he was full of stories and had a colorful personality. he made a strong impression on me to become an artist.

(as a kid) i probably watched four disco shows on saturday mornings. i would try to copy the clothes. grace jones came on soap factory disco in a cut-off tank top, satin shorts, and a robe. she looked like a super hero singing disco!  and then annabella - forget it. i was always drawn to punk, but she blew my mind. she wasn't trying to be white. she was just being herself; a woman of color and the lead singer of a punk pop band. she's still holding it down, touring with a young band doing old bow wow wow and solo stuff.

mslisa: i think she's in the realm of polystyrene and pauline black. sheroes!

honeychild: totally. pauline had a book that came out two years ago. it's so good.

mslisa:  you mentioned that you'll be touring in september? where do you plan to go?

honeychild: well, i want to play in france for sure, but the dates aren't set. i also want to play in louisville.  i composed a song for the climate change event that i think now is going into a competition, so i think i'll play for that.

mslisa: tell me something about your experiences touring and recording in europe?

honeychild: i was singing with the band here and there were two other americans in the group. one song called 'apart' became a hit and was in rotation in italy. we did a tour for several weeks and we opened for morcheeba and sonic youth. i was like this is the polar opposite of my life in new york! it was amazing. i really learned during that time how to be a performer. all the DJs i work with, we're always behind a mountain of gear. i learned to be a bit more free being out front. i had to be more serious about my voice and not damage my vocal cords

i worked with here for almost three years. then i started to meet other people during that time. seven years later i was touring europe again with apollo heights. after that i went back to my DIY style. it was a flip! i've seen both sides of it now. it was learning curve for me, but it was awesome. now i have a stamp in my passport that says i'm a professional musician. here was the most disciplined band i worked with. we'd pack our own food and rehearsed 6 days a week.

when i went on my first solo tour in italy, we stayed in this punk house in valvasone with no hot water or gas, but let me tell you the rehearsal studio was immaculate and it had internet. the other tour that we did when my record came out, we rented a house with tre allegre ragazzi morti  (three happy dead kids).  they have a huge garage they converted into a studio. we had to learn the whole album before we could start the tour. we did that for 10 days. we did vienna, berlin, and denmark. with the slits tour i left early. they had to show me a lot of stuff.

mslisa: how did you end up playing with the slits?

honeychild: ari was good friends with my friend dunia, who was in a big ska band. remember when i worked at canal jeans and i left to work for dierdre who had that dress shop on 5th street?  dierdre did a fashion show and ari came to that. she was there with her sons, pablo and pedro. i was like, who is this woman in these colorful clothes? i didn't know who she was because the only picture i ever saw of the slits they were covered in mud.

fast forward to 2008 and i'm playing with apollo heights. ari comes backstage and i remembered she's the german woman i met 20 years ago at that fashion show. she remembered me and her guitarist had pulled out of the tour. dunia emailed me and said ' ari called me in a panic and they need a guitarist. do you want to go on tour with the slits? ' 

at first i got immediately depressed because i was already working with apollo heights. i was told ari didn't believe in computers so you have to play everything in real time. i went home and studied all their videos, learned three songs, and went to audition for ari. most of her music was on cassette and i loved that.  it was not easy though. it really kicked my ass. i had to re-learn all these chords and i don't read music - that shit was really hard. i had two weeks to get it. the first gigs we did were in ireland and england. by the time we got to barcelona we were really tight. the whole tour was about four weeks.

mslisa: what was it like working with ari?

honeychild: she was amazing. ari didn't read music either, so her way of explaining how to play a song helped me out a lot. she said she's not intimated by other strong women. to her, the band is like a collective -  a girl gang against the world. everyone had a say. we all swapped around on songs, which was really cool. i instantly felt like i was part of the group. one thing she did the entire tour, she was very clear about protecting the band and its legacy. she spoke of the slits as a unit. she was a champion for the underdog. the real deal.

mslisa: so there was no competition between hollie, ari, and the band?

honeychild: none at all. they weren't jaded or on a diva trip on any level. i loved being around that kind of energy.

mslisa: tell me about your involvement in afropunk: the rock n roll nigger experience?

honeychild: i was involved in the beginning when james (spooner) was asking people around the scene about black punk and rock. to me the hardcore scene in new york peaked around 1990 - 92. i didn't get into the black rock coalition until later. i met james through friends who reached out. he started interviewing me and going to my shows. there was a camaraderie starting to evolve. i was also in the sistagrrls collective at the time. there were early screenings where i played with apollo heights and one in louisville at this deco theater downtown.  my entire family came to see afropunk!  if you could only imagine! my dad said, ' i get it now. you're not trying to be white. this is who you are.'  exactly!

i remember at that screening in louisville there was this sister who had a cute macy gray afro; like wild and cinnamon. she was with another woman who was white who was one of my fans. my brother came with his wife, who is also white. she said to that sister, 'your hair is so pretty can i touch it?' and she just did it.  sister got real upset at that. it got a bit hectic. i had to intervene with my sister-in-law, but also not try to shame her. i had to explain to her why it's not okay to touch a black person's hair even though she's married to a black man. this sort of thing happens in my world.

after afropunk evolved into a festival james got out of it. he was never interested in corporate sponsorship. if you take the title away, it is an amazing black music festival and i totally support that. i would love to play on one of the big stages, but it has become something else. it's crazy to me that the new york times does a fashion spread on it now. this is the first year in maybe 6 years that you have to pay, but you can also volunteer to get in.  you used to pay a sliding scale donation.  that's done now. it's become something like coachella, but for grace jones to me, it's worth it. i'm also looking forward to seeing suicidal tendencies.  afropunk also embraces underground and it's open to everyone. the death grips are playing which is crazy.

mslisa: who are the death grips?

honeychild: they're an underground hip hop group that got signed to a major label. they broke up and got back together. they're on a sold out tour now. last year, i saw d'angelo at afropunk. he was great! he had a few dudes from the roots backing him up for that show. have you heard his new album?

mslisa: yes. i would describe it as...abstract funk?  it's very cool.

honeychild: that's a good description!

mslisa: who do you enjoy listening to these days?

honeychild : i have big soft spot for best coast. they're from california. they sound like a 60s girl group. i enjoy a lot of old stuff.  i listen to jean grae, a local hip hop MC. you would love her! i love electro-funk and freestyle. i bought the new king britt record awhile ago -  it's very ambient. skepta i also really like him. he's a grime MC from london.

mslisa: what's grime?

honeychild: grime is dirty british hip hop. dizzy rascal is another. do you listen to big freedia?

mslisa: i love big freedia!

honeychild: grime is sort of in that genre. i also like lady sovereign; she's kind of grime. i'm basking in the glory of her first two records. i think she's really funny!

mslisa: one thing i always loved about you is that you often made or recycled your own clothes. are you still doing that?

honeychild: i've been getting back into sewing a little. i don't see much these days that inspires me.
a lot of what's going on now just isn't cut right for us. i spend my money on shoes. that's where i'll drop a dollar!

mslisa: what do you think of the series empire?

honeychild: i saw one episode and i thought it was so funny!

mslisa: it is! it was interesting to me how white folks had all these issues with it; that to them it was offensive, but black folks love it.

honeychild: because that's how we talk to each other.

mslisa: exactly! even with all the flash and glam; the language and dialogue are authentic. what do you think about rihanna and beyonce's impact on culture? i call it the black girl empire. 

honeychild: i don't consider rihanna or beyonce in the same category. for a young black woman, rihanna is a fierce, independent woman. i don't get a feminist vibe from beyonce because she flaunts the man half too much. whereas rihanna does this whole ' fuck it! i'm rihanna!' '.  she doesn't give a shit and there's no dude in the background.  from beyonce i get a little bit of a puppet feeling. she grew up in a church family. i grew up like that and i know what that's about. i sometimes feel that a lot of her music and image are contrived; to be purposely provocative and sell downloads to a mainstream audience. i just don't get authentic from beyonce. i'm not a rihanna fan, but she comes across to me as more genuine.

mslisa: girl, thank you for talking with me. you're such an amazing woman.

honeychild: thank you!

words with real bishes : ramdasha

bienvenue to words with real bishes. the antidote to rainbow brite (we ain't about that life!).  are you a black or brown beauty holding it down daily? doing things big or small? then email me here and let's chat.  because you, baby are a star! 

today we welcome the eye catcher, ramdasha. she's an etsy diva by day and DJ designer imposter by night.  another interesting fact about her is that she was a 3rd wave black girl punker in the 1990s.

hey girl!

hey! i'm making dinner, but i can talk. 

mslisa: so tell me how we met?

ramdasha: well... we met in person in oakland through honeychild coleman via facebook. you two were homies in new york in the 1980s.

mslisa:  where were you born?

ramdasha : i was born in morristown, new jersey. i also spent parts of my childhood in colorado and arizona. i would go back to new jersey during school breaks.

mslisa: when you were in high school what attracted you to punk? particularly being a black girl?

ramdasha:  well, i didn't go to school with a lot of black kids; mostly upper middle class white kids. i gravitated towards the working class kids. i was a bit of an outsider, that's why i was attracted to punk. my older sister was friends with punks and i kind of copied her.  there was a punk band in my high school called the bouncing souls.  at that time punk was still going strong.  i didn't fit in with school anyway and i didn't like being programmed. punk was different and that was where i wanted to put my energy.

mslisa : what bands did you like back then?

ramdasha :  i got my hands on the basic things. i'd go to the mall and get the sex pistols on cassette. a friend in oregon sent me bikini kill tapes as well. my friend bethany moved to brooklyn and she was living with thea from the lunachicks and that's how i learned about them.

mslisa: tell me about gunk?

ramdasha: gunk was a zine i started when i was 15 and living in new jersey. i got into zines because i liked bikini kill's. there was another zine that inspired me called jigsaw.  originally gunk started as a zine about skateboarding, then it became about bands. then race politics and my experiences as a black girl in the scene. i would reprint letters that i wrote to people and their responses. i had punk pen pals! i was making photocopies of photocopies. i'd run scams at kinko's. (laughs).

mslisa: and what happened to gunk?

ramdasha: i went to college and then i got into other things. then eventually DJing and experimenting with different kinds of music.

mslisa: you and i are both mixed race and identify as women of african descent. when did that self-realization in you hit?

ramdasha: i think from a very early age i knew i was a colored girl. i remember being little and wanting to belong. a kid would say, ' but, you don't look like me'.  i mean, we were doing a play - peter pan or whatever and i remember this little girl said to me, ' i've never heard of a black tinker bell.'  i was like what?! i know i have some privilege being lighter-skinned maybe in certain situations, but i was often the only black kid around. there was a time i didn't like my hair, i didn't like my body. at a time (as a kid) when you're supposed to be free, it's hard having that bullshit laid on you.

mslisa: how did klub kid vintage evolve?

ramdasha: i've always liked playing dress up and putting things together. i was obsessed with elvis and the beatles and the 1950s. it's true - elvis! i have pictures of me trying to dress up like a greaser. i've always loved clothes and performance. i like the art form of clothes. that's where my collecting started. i started selling on ebay and then etsy and it just took off.  if it wasn't for etsy i'd be a crazy lady with a lot of stuff in her house.

mslisa: i was listening to some of your mixes on soundcloud. tres excellent! how did you get into DJing.

ramdasha: that happened organically. i'm kind of obsessive about things including music. i've always felt separate from everyone else. i was such a music nerd. i had a big CD and tape collection and when i dropped out of college an artist i knew was selling his turntables and i bought them. my boyfriend at the time was not supportive at all. mostly because i was a girl. back then i was DJ-ing jungle and drum and bass. i would also mix in hip hop.

mslisa : recently you traveled to austrailia tell me about that?

ramdasha: australia was a trip! i had a lot of reservations about going there. a friend bought me a ticket and i was like okay, go! it's a very racially polarized country. the brown people are economically depressed. there was an intentional white supremacist agenda to wipe out the native population there.

but that aside, syndey was a very ethnically diverse city. there were people from africa, southeast asia, pacific islander, and india. the food was really delicious!  i met a lot of cool people. there's an interesting radical queer community there. i did some DJ gigs in sydney and in melbourne. i wouldn't want to live there, but it was a great experience. people are obsessed with americans and fetishize black people. the queer community is mostly white, but i also met a lot of mixed people; pacific islanders and africans.

i remember driving from sydney to melbourne and going to the grocery store and getting those stares. people couldn't identify me. plus i have a tattoo on my face. i was protected by a lot of friends though, so it was cool. there was one town where black people have these curfews imposed on them and restrictions on drinking. the municipality thinks they don't know how to handle alcohol.

i said to my friend, ' well, wouldn't you want to be drunk living under white supremacy? 

mslisa: you mentioned the radical queer community in sydney. when did you come out?

ramdasha: i never really came out.  my family was never homophobic. my father is basically a lesbian hag. he always had gay people around. i had a consciousness of being gay, but no one wanted to date me in high school because i was the black girl - i was like gender-less. i didn't even have a boyfriend until i was 24.  loving women just came to me naturally as i got older.

mslisa : tell me about #fagzlikeus and #thereareblackpeopleinthefuture? 

ramdasha: those are just hash tags really, but they could be names for my dream band.  i also use #femaletofemale. gender to me is often a performance or some form of power. gay men in new york have a lot of power. i like the idea of erasing gender.  men can do whatever they want and create any space they want and i want the same freedom for us.

#thereareblackpeopleinthefuture is taken from an artist. it was written on a piece of paper i came across at the studio museum in harlem. that hash tag started because i thought about how black people are perceived through history. we're slaves, we're prisoners, we're oppressed, or we're victimized. there's rarely stories of us being happy, alive, and living. i want people to know that we'll go on living and we'll be there in the future. i think the same is true for native american people.  another context of that tag is who are we as african people? where will we be in the future? 

mslisa: things in america are very difficult for us right now. how do you cope with that?

ramdasha: i've gotten into meditation. i've been working on issues around police brutality. the world it seems, is in a constant state of chaos. for me personally, i think, what mark do i want to leave on a one to one basis? there are very oppressive and violent powers we exist with and it's causing people to lose their humanity. (i'll take off) and go upstate to the woods and i won't talk to anyone for 10 days.

i just try to give out and emanate love as much as possible. i know that sounds hella cheesy. i don't see racism or sexism ending. i think information gets lost and history gets erased.

mslisa: what do you mean by history gets erased?

ramdasha: the stories that we're told as little kids. i never knew african history in school except slavery. it was as if we didn't exist before slavery.  my father was an educator and he told me everything you learn in school is a lie.

mslisa: where are you at now?

ramdasha: i've been thinking i want to put out a book. i'm not sure how that's going to materialize, maybe words and photographs. but i would like to make it a tactile thing, not just something that exists in the cloud.

mslisa: are you going to afropunk this year?

ramdasha: i don't know. it cost like $ 80.00 - i'm not paying $ 80.00 to get in. my girl adee and i were talking about setting up a renegade show out front.

mslisa: what would you call the band?

 ramdasha: adee was in the new bloods - a black girl punk band.  we thought it would be fun to call ourselves black new order. 

mslisa: thank you so much for talking with me.

ramdasha: no problem! thank you.

                                                       

                                                                          (c) xara thustra

women of the redwood empire

I came to Humboldt County in mid-summer 2014 where family friends lived. That year had been challenging for me after taking a buyout of my lease and working as a program coordinator in a burn-out job for an Oakland public school.  I had run out of resolve and options to sustain myself; a casualty of the rabid gentrification and rental market, which was displacing locals like me. Beat and being an itinerant by nature, I went into exile in the redwoods for awhile. I've gone into the unknown before and most certainly will again. I know how to get lost. 

  Humboldt was an arduous experience in the beginning. It was very different from Berkeley and the East Bay. With the exception of a few road trips up there, I knew little about the county - other than the abundance of trees and weed.  It is a homogeneous place, with a population that is about 81% white.  The population of Humboldt as a whole is about 150,000 (the population of Berkeley is around 115,000).  For the first few months I worked odd jobs at the HSU bookstore, the Chicken Wing Fest in Eureka, and on the set-up crew of the North Country Fair (12 hour days starting at 5am), and volunteered at Scrap Humboldt (a re-use art non-profit).  By October, I was offered a contract job as an administrative assistant at Arcata Elementary School. I also rented a room from a nurse with an agender teenager and awesome boxer dog (he became my explorations companion). 

            Arcata suited me because it was a bit like the college town I grew up in. When my friends back home asked me about Humboldt, I'd joke and say, ' Hippie cartel! Hella trees and hella tarp!'   Eureka seemed like the place that time forgot without much active life or culture and a serious meth epidemic. The 101 ran right through skid row; dotted with seedy motels and pawn shops. Over time I began to explore the woods, beaches, and trails which were stunningly beautiful.  I had been a lone wolf for months as is my nature whenever I’m ‘ ….going through it’.  Eventually, slowly I came back to myself, and then friendships and connections began to form.

            I became fascinated with the women at AES. Many had come there as students at HSU and stayed, others from Ohio, Pennsylvania, DC, Michigan, and Utah.  I found them to be genuine, unaffected, and hilarious during tough and action-packed days with the students. They were hard-working and almost all had an endeavor outside of their occupations, which also defined them.  They accepted me and respected my connection to other black and mixed-race students at the school. They shared their labor and friendship, and made me feel welcome; the sister outsider from Btown. They were instrumental in helping me get back to myself before I went home.  

            I wanted to document these women; mostly white, which I thought was interesting in the context of being a mixed-race black woman.  How did I see them as opposed to coming into an unfamiliar space and being cognizant of how they saw me?  I’m fascinated by the realm of women in my life; whether it was the Somali sisters I protested with in Italy or the mountain woman who gave me a ride in her truck in the Catskills. In America, we're subjected to the illusion of perfection; to the myth of 'having it all'. Our choices are often questioned, we sacrifice, work to the point of self-destruction, yet are expected to remain desirable and unwavering in deference to a patriarchal order. We looked out for one other at AES, especially when one of us needed a break.  In the end, I am grateful that my path crossed with theirs.  It made my time there extraordinary and transformative. 

' Be mine, Sister Salvation. Juke Joint Jezebel is coming for my cremation. Be mine, Sister Salvation. Closer now, see the revelation. ' 

 KMFDM 

Carrie 

Age: 29

Occupation: Lead Lunch Lady

Alternative Self: Stitchy bitch (knit) and spend time with my family.

What do you want?: I want more life. 

From: Humboldt County

Cindy 

Age: 47 

Occupation: Educational Secretary

Alternative Self: I'm a work in progress.

What do you want?: I want to make things better for everyone, especially kids.  

From: Eureka, CA

Victoria 

Age: 48

Occupation: 5th Grade Teacher 

Alternative Self: Dictator and/or Dominatrix

What do you want?: World peace?

From: Washington, DC

Holly (GoLightly)

Age: 34

Occupation: Instructional Aide and Ballet Instructor 

Alternative Self: Crafter and adventurer.

What do you want?: I want to do work that is meaningful and to be with the people that I love.

                                                          From : Michigan

 Nicole (Nikki Sixx)

Age: 35

Occupation: Lead Custodian

Alternative Self: Mother

What do you want? : I want to see people around me happy. 

From: Yucaipa, CA 

Chloe (Ole Chole) 

Age: 23

Occupation: ASP and SDC Instructor / Math Tutor 

Alternative Self: Derby queen, rock climber, and boxer.

What do you want?: I want to experience amazing things and encourage kids to get outdoors.

 From: Salt Lake City, UT 

 Peri

Age : 47

Occupation: English Language Instructor and Speech Therapy Aide

Alternative Self: Poet

What do you want? : I want to help kids.

From: Eureka, CA 

 Rachel 

Age: 29

Occupation: Teacher’s Aide - SDC

Alternative Self: Crafter, clay maker, and painter.

What do you want?: I want to enjoy life. 

From: Concord, CA 

 Rykijaye

Age: 23

Occupation: HSU Student and  Family Resource Center Intern

Alternative Self: Actress

What do you want?: I want to get as far away from my parents as possible.

From:  Los Angeles, CA 

Terry 

Age: 56

Occupation: 5th Grade Teacher

Alternative Self: Actress

What do you want?: I want to continue on the path that I’m on and travel more in the future.

 From: Florida and England (Navy brat)

Adrienne

Age: 37

Occupation: Lunch Lady and Dishwasher

Alternative Self: World traveler

What do you want? : I want happiness for my children. 

From: Columbus, Ohio

words with real bishes: ramona

welcome to words with real bishes - an antidote to the famous for being famous and orange as the new black.  this week i celebrate ramona, paper mache artist, painter, and educator. she is also a first generation xicana. her work gives life!  if you're a real bish of color and have something to say, please email me here and let's chat. because you, baby are a star!  note: mama lisa is my teacher name and honorable designation. 

hola, hermana!

hola, mama lisa! 

mslisa: el primero algun, tell me how we met?

ramona: we met at encompass academy in east oakland. we immediately connected i think because we looked like the students there. we also both share a conscious and holistic approach to education as women of color.

mslisa: y amamos junot diaz! where were you born?

ramona: i was born in guanajuato, mexico. i came here with my parents when i was 13 years old.

mslisa: tell me about your experience?

ramona:  my parents were migrant farm workers. they came here to find work. it was a culture shock for me at first. i was not expecting such a hectic pace and the language barrier was difficult. i didn't feel very welcome.

mslisa: why didn't you feel welcome?

ramona : well, i was only 13 and i was going through puberty, so that was awkward already. and all these strangers around me. i definitely felt like an outsider.

mslisa; where did you and your parents settle in california?

ramona: we settled in sacramento where we already had family. that comes from a migrant tradition of going where you will have support. you know, it's weird - i don't think of sacramento as my home as i do guanajuato, but if i have a home in the US it's here.

mslisa: did you accomplish getting your education here?

(c) ramona garcia 

ramona: yes. i took english as a second language classes as a kid. i sort of became a nerd. i worked really hard in school and then i got accepted to UC Berkeley.

mslisa: what did you study at Berkeley?

ramona: i have a degree in art and education.

mslisa: you had a double major?

ramona: yes. it was through art that i was able to overcome a lot of my anxiety coming to the states. i also wanted to teach through art. it empowered me and i want to empower other people of color.

mslisa: so tell me about the context of your work?

(c) moon series  / ramona garcia 

ramona: i feel my work has really changed in the last couple of years. i've become more interested in different mediums. i'm currently working on making healing dolls. these are traditional dolls from guanajuato made from paper mache. the craft has indigenous roots, but that's changed with mechanization and plastic toys. so the artisans in guanajuato are having a hard time finding a market to sell them,

(c) ramona garcia

(c) moon series / ramona garcia 

(c) moon series / ramona garcia 

(c) moon series / ramona garcia 

mslisa: what do you intend to do with the dolls you've made?

ramona: well, primarily for me it's a form of cultural preservation; to keep the art alive.

mslisa: are you still teaching?

ramona: yes. i teach workshops for women on making the dolls. i would like to do more. i think this doll has a lot of potential not only in teaching about the folk art of guanajuato, but also for healing purposes.

mslisa: can you explain more about the healing uses of the doll?

ramona: it gave me healing to make them, so i want to pass that on to other people, particularly women of color because we deal with a lot of shit. i also think, in a metaphorical way, they have the potential to open people up.

mslisa: do you plan to go to graduate school at some point?

ramona: yes. i'm looking for an art therapy program. i think that would blend well into the work that i'm doing.

mslisa: what motivates you as an educator?

ramona: well, i've worked with children in schools who were dealing with a lot. the schools and programs didn't always meet their needs culturally. art can not only be a tool of expression, but can also be healing and tap into a higher level of awareness in a child;  (to understand) who we are and where we come from.

mslisa: you had an exhibition recently, tell me about that?

ramona: yes, i was in a show at sol collective. it's the only space we have in sacramento. the exhibition was called revisiting home : portraits of belonging and identity. it was interesting to me to reflect on my childhood and first coming to the states. my pieces were mostly self-portraits.

mslisa: what mediums did you use?

ramona: i use acrylic, watercolors, and paper mache.

mslisa : i'd seen images from the show you shared on facebook. i wanted to buy one! it's such a brilliant piece. it was a self-portrait of you topless with the moon. can you give me some more context about that?

moon series (c) ramona garcia

ramona: that one really brings together things i was dealing with - a response to all these images of white westernized beauty and barbie dolls and my current self.  the full moon is very feminine and it has all these cycles. for me, even if the moon does not seem full all the time, you know the whole is still there, even if you only see pieces of it during certain cycles. that self-portrait represents that for me.

mslisa: tell me more about what you've learned making the dolls?

ramona: when i went back to mexico i asked the artisans i was working with about the indigenous connection to the dolls.  most of them told me the craft came from spain. but, at the museum of anthropology in mexico city they have the exact same dolls on exhibition, only made from ceramic by the aztecas. they are called la muneca teotihuacan or the teotihuacan doll.

mslisa: can you tell me where the artesanos are from?

ramona: they're from celaya, a town in guanajuato. the art of paper mache is very vibrant there. i work closely with one artisan, her name is juana.

mslisa: you are such an extraordinary young woman. muchas gracias para hablar con mio! 

ramona: igualmente, mama lisa! 

ramona con juana, una artesana en celaya
guanajuanto, mexico

words with real bishes : bijou

kreativity rules everything around me

welcome to the next install of words with real bishes. this is an interview platform for every day grown black women. because you, baby are a star! are you grown and fabulous? are you holding it down with grace and fortitude? do you believe that cookie monster will save us all? are you about that life? got something to say? then please, email me here and let's chat.

today we have the honor of interviewing bijou, aka bijou m. kream. she's a senior development associate for youthspeaks.org, a businesswoman, and hardcore fashionista. a young renaissance sister of our time.  check out her website here.

hey girl!

hey girl!

mslisa: so tell me how we met?

bijou: we met through my fabulous sister dimitrua. i remember one valentine's day we were all single and we went to a tiki bar. that was cool. (i enjoyed) hanging out and getting all up in your fabulous aura,

mslisa:  you're too sweet! thank you. where were you born and raised?

bijou: i was born and raised in east oakland, ca.

mslisa: i think of you as quite the go-getter. between your work at youthspeaks, your eye wear line, and work as a stylist, how do you do all that? tell me a bit about what drives you?

bijou: what drives me the most is i hate being bored. i'm always doing something with my hands, making stuff. for now i'm juggling multiple things. it's hard work and tiring, but i know one day i'll be boss lady millionaire kream! 

mslisa: outstanding! next, i want to ask you about relationships with men of different races. i agree with missy : 'black, white, puerto rican, chinese boys'! how do you feel about this personally?

bijou: (giggles) : i'm all for it! i'm an equal opportunity dater. i don't think race matters as much. having a spiritual connection with someone that treats you well are the most important things.  i think people in the south would disagree with me.

mslisa :  why do you say that?

bijou: it's more segregated in the south. people are a bit ignorant about getting together. there's definitely a boundary there.

mslisa: do you think that's because of slavery?

bijou: definitely. the south was built on the backs of black people. because of its history there's a lot of distrust of white people there. folks tend to keep it separate.

mslisa: you're going to the afropunk festival this summer, what inspired you to check it out?

bijou: well, i was planning an epic trip for my birthday. some friends told me about this cool festival happening in brooklyn and i was like 'yeah! let's do it'. so, i got my little crew together and we're going. d'angelo was there last year...he's hella fine! i figured i have to go at least once in my life.

mslisa: who is an inspiration to you as a black woman?

bijou: the women in my family inspire me. i know a lot of people look up to celebrities or whatever, but the women in my family are fabulous. they're classy, loving, supportive, and down to earth. particularly my grandmother. the resilience the women of her generation had as women of color, is an inspiration to me.

 mslisa: tell me about your eye wear line, millionaire kream.

bijou: my eye wear consists of frames and accessories. most of the materials are hand-picked. each pair is unique and a limited edition.  the last line i put out was the roma collection. it was inspired by a trip i took to italy with my sister.  every pair has a name after a city we visited or a roman god.

mslisa: that's fabulous! what influences your personal style?

bijou : my style is not influenced by trendy fashion. that's just not cost effective!  for me, my big thing is thrifting, especially things from the 1980s. i like to rock what i like, which is usually black with a pop of color. i also love accessories. i love vintage, chunky chains and big earrings.

mslisa: how do you feel about your generation today?

bijou: i feel like my generation is one of the last generations that are real.  i mean, we played outside until the street lights went on, we respected our elders, and got an ass-whoppin if we didn't. we had real library cards. i think young people born in the 1990s didn't experience any of that with the changes in technology.

mslisa: things are quite complex for us in our society. how do you cope with being a young black woman in america ?

bijou:  i think the most important thing is to stay true to myself;  to remember my upbringing and my roots. being a young woman of color, we're often bombarded with images of an ideal we don't fit; that we don't look a certain way. i don't struggle with those issues because of the values i was raised with. i've always seen the beauty in who i am.

mslisa : thank you so much for talking with me today.

bijou: girl, thank you!

words with real bishes : mekela

(c) popart rupaul by bellonart

words with real bishes came out of an idea i had about my girls. they're lovely grown women, well-educated, strong, vulnerable, honest, supportive, and often hilarious. i wanted to do an interview format where we talk about all manner of things: the unbearable blackness of being in america, beauty, the legend that is cookie monster, and our current situations. also for the laughs. if you'd like to participate in words with real bishes, email me here. 

my first amazing sister is mekela. she's a graduate of UC davis, a substitute teacher for oakland unified school district, a mother of two gigantically tall sons, and a social media bon vivant (it was from her i learned what a hashtag even was a few years ago).

hey girl!

hey girl!

mslisa: so, tell me how we met?

mekela:  we met (about 10 years ago) as teachers at learning for life in east oakland. our supervisor was a bish! i knew you had black in you, but i wasn't sure how you identified. then you said something and i knew you were black!

mslisa: (chuckling) where were you born?

mekela: i was born and raised in oakland. i grew up in west oakland and went to oakland tech. i wasn't an east oakland person. when i was 7 i moved to kansas city for about 8 months, then came back. my grandmother lived right across the street from the dmv in temescal.

mslisa: i know you're a huge warriors fan. things have gotten super hot for them. how do you feel about the NBA finals?

mekela: i think it's so amazing! i grew up watching basketball; dr. jay and jordan, all these cool players. i broke up with the warriors once when they traded chris webber.  monta ellis was curry in 2007-08. there was always some kind of strange trade going on with the warriors. in 2012-13 monta got traded and the owner got booed out of the stadium. the team as a whole is doing so well right now. i can't believe it!

mslisa: you and i have an on-going facebook feud where you tag me with anti-cat propaganda. why do you hate cats so much?

mekela:  why do you call it propaganda?! i don't trust them. you never know where they are. i think they're plotting to murder us all and suck our breath out in our sleep.

mslisa: i sometimes tag you back with goat videos. what do you love about goats?

mekela: well, i'm a capricorn and i identify with goats. a capricorn never goes down without a fight! we're also ambitious. one of my nicknames growing up was billy goat because i did a lot of testing of items with my mouth. i think goats are so playful and friendly and cute. one day i want to have a goat farm.

mslisa: you recently posted a meme of a sexy dude for a BET film called chocolate city? girl, it was hilarious! is this real? i think it's a joke.

mekela: lisa, what's real anyway? well, i thought it was so funny, but i didn't get it. straight to BET? it was supposed to be in theaters? but, yes the film is real.  did you see the trailer? ginuwine is in it and brian white. girl, there are loads of chocolate in the movie.

mslisa: (cracking up) who is an inspiration to you as a black woman?

mekela: well today it's serena! she's super bad! but tomorrow it could be someone else, even in my own life. you know brandi is my BFF. i think she's way cool. i will say this; i was really faithful and into traditional african dance back in the day. there was a time when i was dancing with all of these black women. it was the most positive energy all the time. i was able to build wonderful relationships with those women. it gave me a lot of confidence as a black person.

mslisa: thank you, girl! this was cool.

mekela: thank you!