get low

i'm always digging for independent and interesting movies; save the awesome sci-fi or bang bang action movie. i'm cool with the drivel hwood cranks out. dime o dozen, my friend. i'm such a movie nerd that i've finessed my sense of a good movie within 5 minutes. that's right, 5 minutes to take me by the hand and show me the way.

to me, things that are on the radar without incessant promotion and all that usually turn out to be excellent works of art. sure there's the guilty pleasure of movies just for fun (twilight: total eclipse for example was awesome. my favorite in the series).

i came across get low and it had two things i enjoy in movie narratives; hillbilly gothic set in the past and robert duvall. i love it when he plays old southern coots. he get so into it; very naturalistic, witty, and has this brilliant ability to convey a ravaged tormented soul underneath an abrasive exterior. he seems to mix method with subtle improvisations.

the movie is so awesome if for him alone. he plays this old hermit felix bush who's retreated into the woods alone, long hair and beard, with his shotgun, a horse, and mixtures of medicinal herbs. news of an old acquaintance passing sets the story in motion as felix realizes his own death is nigh. so begins his journey of redemption.

a tragic incident in his life is what made him retreat from humanity and god. he never asked forgiveness from god, and his heart was forever broken. he goes to the church pastor and offers a wad of cash for his funeral. he wants people to come and share the stories they've heard about him; this is all hogwash of course, because he doesn't have the balls to tell his own story. in isolating himself what did he become in the eyes of the people in the county?

he connects with quinn and buddy who run a funeral parlor and they become his only friends; driving him around, getting him groomed and tailored, and invariably companions on his path to

salvation.

the production design, location, and costumes are beautiful. it is though worth watching alone for duvall's exquisite acting in this story. i myself got choked up at one point, my heart breaking at felix's sense of hopelessness and anguish.

lovely little gem, my friends. see it.

mslisa

calvin face thoughts

fB is generally fun and a cool way to link to friends abroad. sometimes a weird form of passive voyeurism (knowing what's going on in a person's life or their interactions with others without being directly involved). you can also connect with people from the past, which is sadly hit or miss.

i friended a dude i had a massive crush on in 10th grade in high school. he doesn't remember me specifically of course because i was the geeky punk girl lingering in the background pining for the (to me) john hughes type dreamboat who was in a band and....well you get the picture.

teenage wasteland-type shit.

he lives up north and every now and then pops back down to earth to reconnect with friends. over the weekend there was a reunion show with his old ska bandmates. i ended up not going since i was beat and it's not 1982. i mean, honestly the thought of us middle-aged berkeley high kids collectively reliving the past seemed a tad depressing.

we connected this afternoon and i gave him a ride to the airport. he is a sweet and charming dude, but also utterly fucked up. he has mental issues (which he's honest about) on meds to maintain his well being and essentially adrift; keeping himself in tact through and with the kindness and support of others. for a dude of 45 this is odd to me.

his stories are amusing, but something doesn't sound right. either he's embellishing or has the time lines of his life mixed up or is (worst case senario) dellusional. something is just off.

so the teenage fantasy and adult reality collide in my own mind. we didn't really know one another then or have any sort of relationship / friendship. he was the cat i admired from afar. he's a sweet dude though and i am a compassionate woman. we all need to connect to someone even through many degrees of separation from our adolescence. you exist friend, you're okay. i made him laugh and listened to his stories, but it made me a bit sad too to hear him talking about how being a 'mod' is his true self. mod? that was nothing more than a pop culture revival when we were kids in the early 80s.

it's like an elephant in the room. dude is sweet, but deeply wounded and not right in the head.

*sigh* illusions shattered! you really can't go back, ya know.

*****

then he walks in. dinner party at a co-worker's over his excellent cooking and even more nutritional conversation. i meet his classmate james who he referred to lil t's parents for a piano tutor. *blam* exactly the kind of cat i asked the universe to reveal to me. tattoo love boy geek. of course the universe plays cruel ironic jokes on chicks like me: he's 25 years younger, 

But that's cool. I am happy to admire from afar and just resign myself to a 'that just don't make no kind of sense' state of mind. shit. cotdamn. :(

i am however being focused on by said colleague and co-worker who is 5 years younger. okay, reasonable right? but i'm not that into him. he's tripped out, high-octane, and i'm not attracted to him in that way. but he is awesome and i really enjoy our conversations.

tattoo love boy! he even plays chopin.....*sigh*

mslisa

diary of a PA

greetings!

so it would appear my luck has taken a turn. i also realized that i needed to be doing some other work besides teaching alone. i was starting to feel the burnout from the behind-the-scenes drama; although i'm doing an excellent job supporting the kids and staff yet getting sweated for my time.

there's also intent to transition into something else after the school year ends. so, i take a rather flexible part-time job as a home assistant for a retired gay couple not far from my place. sounds ideal; something i've been doing on and off for years and most importantly - laid back.

they're a charming older couple into their 80s, wealthy, comfortable, in a house like a museum filled with beautiful art and shangri-la for a backyard. they spend their days in rooms filled with stuff and toiling meticulously over every day things. i learned today how to fold shirts in the style of a j crew display. i was also learning about their extensive files.

persnickity to say the least, but sweet. i'm familiar with it because i've worked for older rich people before and in most cases they have nothing to do with their time other than take their time obsessing over life's details. they're also not particularly adept at managing their own lives, they just hire someone else do it for them.

i got a check for two days work at a $84.00 / 10 is $8.40hr or what you would pay a teenager. i was stunned. money hadn't been discussed because i assumed the rate would be $20.00hr (my usual rate as a personal assistant on the low-end).

i do like being in the company of cultured, well-off people. it's just a different energy than the forever struggling and stressing mere mortal (self included). i can take a break from reality and see how others live in utter financial freedom writing bills for the amount due in full with the stroke of a pen. who does that?! 

it's also networking. rich people know other rich people and so on. there is always the possibility of getting another project, job, or client through them.

today was a little stressful near the end of the afternoon; helping one with his mac and an archaic collection of passwords (caps, no caps, 'o' or '0', cat's name or mr blah blah?) and trying to ween him off the AOL, which seems to have anyone over 70 by the balls. *sigh*

i decided to move on to something else. i despise cheapness in people especially those who can afford to pay me a decent wage. reciprocity, my man! good begets good and generosity begets generosity.

mslisa