Wednesday, May 17, 2023

the veteran



American woman soldier, Gulf War, 1991


Good morning Airbnb support, 

Cecily is a 69 year old white American Desert Storm veteran from Utah.  She was in town for her niece's graduation at UC Berkeley. She booked a stay with me for the weekend, checking out Monday, May 15th. Being this was her first time using the platform and a veteran, I wanted to be kind and host her.

Initially, Cecily was pleasant enough, if a bit high-strung, and shared some of her deployment experiences while in service.  At one point, she said, ' I see so many black people on TV and in films now. For me, it's like how it was for you in the 80s.'

That is a microaggression, dismissive of my experience as a black girl when I was a teenager.  I then re-directed the conversation.

Cecily was in and out during the weekend. On Monday, I asked if she could check out a bit earlier so that I could leave for work. She started to argue that my check-out was 12 noon and complained that I had asked before if she could leave at 8:30am. This was inconsiderate of my time and disrespectful. I had been flexible and accommodating with her late night check-in her first night.  She wanted it her way and expected me to yield.

" This is my home and I set the terms of a person's stay. " I said. " I'm not arguing with you about it. I have to go to work. It's always the same shit with white women in this country. "

In my experience, women like Cecily have been hurtful and destructive towards me and I'm not tolerating it anymore. Cecily got her things together and left shortly after 10am.  She left me the attached note on a post-it, which was inappropriate and racist. She text me later in the day and I told her not to contact me again and that I was reporting her to Airbnb.

I did not call her a ' white bitch' - that is not true, but what was in her head.  For her generation, things have changed, and this may be hard for her to accept. I think Cecily may have some mental or emotional issues based on her behaviour and comments. Given her age and background, and my experience with her, she could cause conflict or harm to other hosts like me, particularly when visiting the Bay Area.

This is the truth. I'm not a vindictive person and I will protect myself from women like Cecily.

Thank you,
Lisa R.


That morning, immediately after that experience, I got an email from an eBay seller with an offer on a vintage black doll my grandmother gave me in 1972. She was visiting at the time and saw me play with a Beauty Parlor Barbie and wasn't having it. That was magic. Grandmama came through after that hateful woman left my house.  I smiled and accepted the offer on that doll.  Then, like most sisters in America, with no time to sit with it, I put my head up, and went to work. 



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